STAFF WANTED: Looking for Miracles!

We’re always on the looking for awesome people to join our team!
However, after a few, let’s call them “learning experiences” over the years, we’ve decided to be incredibly specific about what we’re looking for.

If you are a member of the rare species known as Reliable Employees, please keep reading...

The ideal applicants should:

- Show up on Day One - This sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised. If you accept the job, please actually turn up to work.

- Have a functioning Alarm Clock - Understand that a 9am start does not mean “roll out of bed at 9:15am to check your text messages."

- Know what a Mop is - You need to know how to use a mop and a broom. If you’ve never cleaned a floor in your life, this is not the place to learn.

- Stay a While - We spend a lot of time training you. If you plan on quitting in 2 months to “go find yourself”, please go find yourself somewhere else.

- No Hangovers - We all love a good Saturday night out. But if you’re scheduled to work, please arrive awake, alert, and not looking like an extra from the Walking Dead.

- Keep Gossip to yourself - If you want workplace gossip, apply for Love Island.

Why you’ll love working with us:

- You’ll be paid on time, every time

- Free Food & Drink (within reason)

- A Roster published well in advance, not the night before your next shift.

- A Fair Boss - The boss is a reasonable human being. Respect the business, we’ll respect you.

- No Slackers - Because we’ve become very good at filtering out the slackers, you won’t find yourself doing the job of 2 people because your colleague’s been hiding in the toilet for half an hour scrolling their TikTok.


So, if you’re super friendly, enthusiastic, funny, hard working, basically an all round superhero. Apply below by filling out the application. We personally review every application, and if we like what we see, we’ll be in touch!

Pascal & Marta